


want it all

by apeunde



Category: VIXX
Genre: M/M, after that 'jaehw hyung is my fave hyung', sobs forever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 04:50:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6142051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apeunde/pseuds/apeunde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the weight of jaehwan’s eyes on him doesn’t move.</p>
            </blockquote>





	want it all

Sanghyuk knows he should have lied when asked who he liked best — not so much because it was a secret, but mostly for himself. Jaehwan had seemed a little taken aback, eyes confused for a moment before they moved back to the MC, and Sanghyuk already starts feeling terrible right after the conversation moves on. But Jaehwan’s eyes keep searching for his, even minutes later, and Sanghyuk tries not to let his cheeks grow pink.

Sanghyuk still feels Jaehwan’s gaze on his face even when they’re through with the show, everybody bundled up in their van in the direction of home. The intensity of it makes his ears flush, and he doesn’t really want to deal with it; so he pretends to fall asleep on Hongbin’s shoulder, but the weight of Jaehwan’s eyes on him doesn’t move, not for the rest of the ride. He’s a coward, Sanghyuk tells himself, for throwing a bone and then pulling it back by a hidden string.

The night is bright when they roll unto the couch of their dorm, Hakyeon and Taekwoon already occupying the two showers before anybody else could protest. Sanghyuk feels drained, energy completely sucked out of his body from the day of work and cameras — he knows the others are, too. Sanghyuk’s eyes search for Jaehwan in the familiarity of their apartment, but he’s nowhere to be seen, and Sanghyuk grumbles at himself for feeling disappointed. Somehow, he’d expected something to happen once they reached their dorm; but it was a silly thought to begin with.

“Are you going to wash up?” Hongbin asks after a few minutes, when Taekwoon comes strolling out of the bathroom with his strands of hair still wet and dripping unto the floor. Sanghyuk only looks up, as if risen from a trance, and for a second his eyes look at Hongbin with lack of understanding before he comes back to reality.

“Uh, you go ahead. I’ll finish up later.”

“Alright,” Hongbin sighs, “Don’t be too late, okay? We’re up early tomorrow again.”

Sanghyuk gives him a little smile, and it seems to be enough to make Hongbin satisfied. He simply nods, taking a towel from Taekwoon’s outstretched hand before sauntering off to shower. When the door closes and he’s left behind, Sanghyuk suddenly feels the emptiness of the living room weigh down on him, and he realises that everyone else must have already washed up before him.

It’s a weird thought, being alone in a room when he’s usually always around people, and for a moment he feels wary of it; like the glow of the kitchen light shining into the living room might suck him up in the darkness of the night, bringing him to a place lost and far away. Sanghyuk shudders a little as his eyes move to the windows, the lights of the city twinkling like littered stars under him, and he wonders if Jaehwan had meant all the other things he’d said about him before. Sanghyuk really hopes he did, and he almost feels foolish for it.

The sound of bare feet tapping over the floor resonate in Sanghyuk’s ears after what feels like hours of just sitting there and watching the night unfold in front of him. He looks up, and Jaehwan’s soft features shine in the warm rays of the kitchen light, nice yet electrifying. Sanghyuk should have expected this, because Jaehwan isn’t one to leave things unclear; and yet somewhere in himself Sanghyuk had hoped that maybe, tonight, he would.

“You should really wash yourself,” Jaehwan says as he sits down next to Sanghyuk on the border of the couch, scrunching up his nose as he leans in just a little. “You reek of leather and sweat.”

Somehow, the words are enough to take the edge off of Sanghyuk. He laughs at them, chuckles as he looks at Jaehwan, and for some reason it doesn’t feel anxious anymore, the whole situation he suddenly finds himself in.

“Maybe if you join me,” Sanghyuk teases, and he can tell Jaehwan’s eyes darken a little under his freshly washed bangs fallen into his face. There’s a silence after that, but it’s not uncomfortable — it rather seems warm and patient, just like when you know what’s to come but you don’t want to rush into something that you know will turn out okay, somehow.

“Hey,” Jaehwan’s voice breaks the ongoing silence after a few minutes, sounding a little rough as if he isn’t sure he wanted to say anything at all. “Did you… mean it?”

He doesn’t need to specify, because Sanghyuk knows they’re both more than aware of the subject — it’s been hanging in between them for the entire night now, maybe even longer than that. Maybe, if Sanghyuk thinks back, it’s been hanging in between them from the start.

“Do you have any reason to doubt me?” Sanghyuk chuckles, and it’s soft and warm in Jaehwan’s ears. He doesn’t answer right away, his lips turning into a little smile instead before he replies. Sanghyuk knew Jaehwan would understand his simple words, reading into them what was to be read between the lines. It had been hanging in the air for too long, had made breathing heavy between them for a while.

“No, but I’d like to hear it.” Jaehwan’s eyes crease as he says it, smile in place, in that wonderful way that makes Sanghyuk’s lips feel dry and his heart beat faster. It feels nice, calm and warm and safe, and Sanghyuk doesn’t know why he didn’t tell Jaehwan sooner.

“I like you, hyung,” he half chuckles half smiles. It’s not a confession, not really, something more akin to a confirmation — for both of them. And suddenly the tension in his shoulders seems to evaporate into something warmer, something that feels a lot like love making his knees weak.

Jaehwan sighs as he hears the words, but it’s not a sigh heavy with worry. It’s light and freeing, and Sanghyuk can tell that Jaehwan’s slight sniffling is from trying to keep in a laugh.

“Come here, you silly boy,” Jaehwan breathes softly, and before he knows it Sanghyuk finds himself in Jaehwan’s arms, wrapped around him like a cage — but it’s good, so much better than their knees touching or their hands brushing by accident now and then. And then Jaehwan’s lips are soft on his own, the feeling making Sanghyuk’s heart inflate in his chest to a point he thinks he’s going to burst; but he knows he won’t, because it’s impossible and Jaehwan is too gentle for anything to happen with him. Sanghyuk feels like he’s flying, high up through the clouds and low over the waves of the sea, and he doesn’t think he could ever get enough of this.

Jaehwan pecks his lips a couple of times more, gently and without any rush; Sanghyuk can see the glimmer in his eyes and along his lips, and the only thing he can think of is ‘I’m the reason for that.’ And then Jaehwan scrunches his nose against, dipping it into the collar of Sanghyuk’s hoodie.

“You need to shower. Like, now.” Jaehwan says sternly, and Sanghyuk supposes that no matter what, he’s definitely won big today — if not biggest of all time, by his standards.

**Author's Note:**

> i just had to... though it turned out sappier, MUCH sappier than i intended hahahahhhhh i wanted it to be calm n soft but now...


End file.
